Doggers Love Trees

YOU can’t see the sex for the trees sometimes…
And if you live in Lancashire UK…
And go down to the woods today – to er get wood…
You’re in for a very nasty surprise…
Council killjoys have felled 100’s of century old trees…
Why you cry…why to stop the dogging going on…
Yeah you heard me right…
The daft bastards have brought in hunky lumberjacks…
To fell the mighty oaks…
To discourage the “dogging community…”



For those not in the know…
Dogging is a bit of a Brit thing…
Basically horny couples drive out to beauty spots…
Park up – pull out their pricks and fuck themselves stupid…
Meanwhile a crowd of onlookers arrive…
And either join in the fuck fest…
Or mostly just go wank in the bushes…




Brit Doggers – A Bit Slutty


The reasons given is of course “Health and Safety…”
Why they couldn’t have supplied condoms God only knows…
Or knowing some Brit slags…
A crash helmet lol…
However the local copper says…
“We shall be keeping a close eye on the area…”
I’m sure you will constable…
Truncheon in hand of course…

IT’S FUCKING FREEZING – STAY IN DOORS BUY PORN AND WANK!!!

PERSONAL NEWS – given it’s Christmas…
I’ve just opened my first members only nude babes site…
The hottest babes – the sweetest teens…
There’s even a few cougars and MILFs…
Softcore and hardcore babes to blow ya ball off…

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GYNECOLOGY TOOLS GETTING SEXUAL DOCTORS WARN

DILDO sales are drooping (sic) in France…
Faster than you can say onion anal plug…
It’s a case of the credit crunch…
Or Le Crunch as it’s known over there…
The news comes as Paris plays host to…
Big Eropolis – the world’s largest erotic trade show…
“We’re not the car industry…”
Wailed one stall holder…
“We feel the impact..” bemoaned another…
I should hope so too…
A dildo without the impact…
Is as popular as a eunuch at a tranny convention…
(allegedly)…
So here’s my rallying cry…
Fuck the French economy – I mean they already have lol…
Save America – buy a big dildo TODAY!!!
It’s your fucking country so fuck for it!!!
(this has been a public service announcement for dildos)


Euro Sex Nation

BUT I ONLY CAME IN FOR A BIKINI WAX

Post sponsored by: FLIP’S PORN STUFF – BUY A DILDO I’M NOT FRENCH



Your news from all that’s hot in the porn blog world…
Or obvious porn spam from yours truly…
Or shout outs to my mates to make me look cool…

EXPLICITE NUDES | WEBMASTERS SUBMIT BLOG POST

My latest blog and a bit of a ground breaker…
Ever modest ain’t I lol…
What do ya get if you cross a blog with a TGP..?
You get a BGP – blog gallery post – clever huh…
Just go see the hot nude babes and purchase something…
I’m NOT French and my puppy needs food…




SATIN AND SILK NUDES

This is a brand spanking new blog…
Hot off the Flip presses…
It pays homage to lingerie – stockings…
And the beautiful babes wearing them…
OK that’s not strictly true…
The guys at ONLY TEASE…
Are running a competition…
I could win $1000 if someone buys a membership…
So if ya like babes in hot lingerie and stockings…
And you’d like to save a puppy’s life…
Head over there and er buy summat…

THE WALRUS HAS A NICE ASS

When I make an ass of building a blog…
I have this floodlight that I point to the sky…
It’s not a bat – how old hat (ooo poetry cool)…
It’s a WALRUS – and my partner in grime comes running…
I guess his new babes blog NICE ASS…
Was pretty much inspired by me…
Not my ass I hasten to add…
More each time he sees an email from me…
He goes – “what’s that Brit asshole want now…”
I’ll take my 10% now please…

ATHENA HOLLOW’S DEMENTED RANTS

Looking like a prettier version of Christina Ricci…
(after a night in the coffin she calls her bed)…
This hot goth nude babelet (made up word)…
Is the kind of lady who after sex…
Doesn’t fart roll over and smoke a cig…
Rather she cranks up her laptop…
And continues where she left off on World of Warcraft…
Yeah geeky and she can play chess…
Ultra intelligent with nice tits – I’m so gonna get a slap lol…
Funny as fuck and…
Takes the piss outa me on adult webmaster boards lol…
I likes her I tells ya – even if she is a geek…

THE PORN ENCHANTRESS

I think the nasty wizard has disappear spelled ya entries hun…
Either that or they’re written in invisible dragons blood ink…
Still this top class erotic story writer admits all her male characters…
Are based totally on me – yup Flip…
Especially the ones with big dicks who make women shudder to climax…
Whilst the intrawebz awaits with baited breath for a post…
Go read and listen to her mucky stories…
Ummm nice voice toots…

ANA’S PORN BLOG

From the pen of the first lady of porn…
The chick that put the P in Panties…
(did I really just say that lol)…
Comes the mad ramblings of a babe on heat…
Hubby away fighting the third reich ok Taliban…
Means she has time to scour the net for porno…
Which she oh so kindly shares with the masses…
She’s funny feisty looks hot in lingerie…
And she kinda keeps us blokey blokes in check…
She’s had a tough time of late so damn well buy summat…

Your link here..?
Contact me send panties…
Or chocolate….
Chocolate panties (used)…
Will get you 500 words…

EDITORS DISCLAIMER:

This post was NOT sponsored by:



IT’S FREE SO DON’T BUY IT

NO KISSING RUSSIAN TEEN PUSSY






SNOG FREE STATION


KISSING is now banned…
Not only that – there’s designated kissing areas!!!
Anyone caught in the “lewd act” can be fined $80…
WE’re talking a railway station up t’north…
Welcome to romance free Britian…
Grumpy (and ugly) local taxi drivers have complained…
One exclaimed:

Useless they are…we have to beep them…
And point out the sign and the fine…

What a bunch of sad bastards…
And given the station is owned by Virgin…
I guess full on intercourse is out of the question…

FEATURED NUDE BABE – AMOUR ANGELS SEXY NUDE RUSSIAN TEENS





NO KISSING WE’RE INDIAN – FUCKING’S OK


It’s even worse if you’re Indian…
It’s banned in public everywhere…
And with fines of up to $22…
You’d better watch your lips lol…

My thanks to the gorgeous Indian porn star…
PRIYA ANJALI RAI…
My God this woman is fucking HOT…
I wanna kiss every part of her body…
Fuck the fine I wanna fuck HER!!!

GO SEE ALL OF THIS HOT INDIAN NUDE BABE NOW




FLIP’S PORN – all my babes and nude blogs…



EXPLICITE NUDES – my latest Thumbnail Blog Gallery…

WESTBORO BAPTITS OOOPS BAPTIST CHURCH SUPPORTS BRISTOL


PORN protesters storm pornographers house…
In scenes reminiscent of a Frankenstein movie…
The only thing missing being pitchforks and peasants…
OK maybe there were peasants we’re talking Somerset after all…
Suburban anti sex protesters lay siege to an honest legal business…
Furious residents of a quiet Bristol (ha I said bristols lol) cul-de-sac…
Want to cull de ahem scrotum sac activities of one Jimmy Edwards…



NOT JIMMY EDWARDS IN GAY ROMAN FILM HAIL HOMO


Professional pornographer James Edwards…
Is said to be completely stressed out by the whole thing…

All right, there are girls visiting and there are camera people coming in and out…
But they are all clothed when they come out…
I get on very well with my immediate neighbours…

He said…
Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy…
It’s the cumming in and out the neighbours are upset about lol…
We can’t have pornography made in private…
I mean my God what is the world coming to…
Everyone knows porno should be made in public!!!




PORN STARS PUNISHED BY PROTESTERS – PROBABLY


So incensed are the neighbours…
They predict coach loads of prostitutes and drug dealers arriving…
To ply their equally terrible disgusting dangerous trades…
A thing unheard of in the sleepy hamlet of Bristol…
And shock horror let’s grab the media’s attention…
A kindly 75-year-old granny in the street raises the point…

Why is this going on? Why is this allowed?
There are little children round here.
It is not on. He is laughing at us.

God forbid pornographers should ever laugh…
And come to that how come porn is always…
I mean always linked in with kids..?
I mean hang on a minute…
Do kids have credit cards..?
And therefore why on earth would legit porno types like me…
Want them on my sites in the first place..?
And more importantly…
Why aren’t parents monitoring their online activities..?
Naw don’t be silly blame the pornographers…




PORNOGRAPHERS TRYING NOT TO LAUGH


I of course understand about NIMBY…
Not in My Back Yard…
Now that sounds like an anal porn reference to me lol…
You ain’t gonna stick that in my back yard honey hehe…
But I digress – us porno professionals do you know lol…
But if it’s legal – above board then WTF is the matter with you people..?
And as to the shock horror “it’s affecting our house prices…”
There’s a fucking world wide recession on people…
House prices are dropping quicker than a Bristol prozzies knickers…
(ooops no pun intended)
If anything the presence of a legit porn empire in your street…
Could be construed as a high selling point…
You can just see the estate agents eagerly writing their speil…
“Four up four down…”
You just know where I’m going with this lol…




FOUR UP FOUR DOWN – GLORIOUS VIEWS



So what have we learned from this…
Porn gets headlines – always for the wrong reasons…
Anti porn protesters are hypocritical uneducated and sad…
Their anger and call to arms over a legitimate business…
Shows certainly a community spirit to be applauded…
But why not use that venom against the real criminals in society…
Just try and walk through parts of Bristol late at night…
Take a quick snapshot of crime figures in Bristol…
Way above the national average – particularly sex crimes…
Now how about getting your placards…
Taking to the streets and tackling real crime..?
Rather than bullying harassing a legitimate disabled businessman…
I mean if he wasn’t earning from a legitimate business…
God forbid he’d become a benefit scrounger…
And I’m sure none of you lot or your families do that sort of thing…
Do you..?

THIS POST WAS SPONSORED BY




REAL AMATEUR PORN MOVIES BRISTOL APPROVED

HOT TEEN SWEET DREAMS


SEX DREAMS or nightmares…?
Well chances are if you’re a chick…
When your head hits the pillow…
It ain’t fluffy bunnies and rainbows…
Nope you my dear are cursed with nightmares…
Meanwhile us men get all the luck…
For we dream of S E X…
So not only do we think of intercourse every 30 secs…
We can’t turn off our todgers when we sleep…




I WAS SLEEP FUCKING HONEST MISSUS



Now this has given me a scientific excuse…
For those middle of the night rapes…
As my exes like to call it lol…
You know what I mean…
Half awake in that cock twitching twighlight zone…
You think the snoring lump next to you…
Is that hot hot pornstar you just have to fuck…
You give it your best moves…
Only to be slapped right on your vinegar stroke…
And called a fucking rapist pervert scum…
Well it happens to me all the time lol…
Full scientific proof HERE…
Say thankyou Flip…