Doggers Love Trees

YOU can’t see the sex for the trees sometimes…
And if you live in Lancashire UK…
And go down to the woods today – to er get wood…
You’re in for a very nasty surprise…
Council killjoys have felled 100’s of century old trees…
Why you cry…why to stop the dogging going on…
Yeah you heard me right…
The daft bastards have brought in hunky lumberjacks…
To fell the mighty oaks…
To discourage the “dogging community…”



For those not in the know…
Dogging is a bit of a Brit thing…
Basically horny couples drive out to beauty spots…
Park up – pull out their pricks and fuck themselves stupid…
Meanwhile a crowd of onlookers arrive…
And either join in the fuck fest…
Or mostly just go wank in the bushes…




Brit Doggers – A Bit Slutty


The reasons given is of course “Health and Safety…”
Why they couldn’t have supplied condoms God only knows…
Or knowing some Brit slags…
A crash helmet lol…
However the local copper says…
“We shall be keeping a close eye on the area…”
I’m sure you will constable…
Truncheon in hand of course…

IT’S FUCKING FREEZING – STAY IN DOORS BUY PORN AND WANK!!!

PERSONAL NEWS – given it’s Christmas…
I’ve just opened my first members only nude babes site…
The hottest babes – the sweetest teens…
There’s even a few cougars and MILFs…
Softcore and hardcore babes to blow ya ball off…

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HOLLY SAMPSON – TIGER WOODS ALLEGED MISTRESS – NUDE

OK here comes the birdie jokes…
OK forget about the birdie jokes…
Lets just say Tiger Woods alleged mistress is HOT!!!
Seems our Tiger Woods likes to fuck porn stars…
I have to say he’s made on hell of a choice with Holly…
This is one of those early “breakthough” nude photos set…
Man she sure does have the body…
But lets just say she enjoyed doing more than nude…

Holly Sampson fucking on a golf course..?
It looks a lot like one to me lol…



HAVE A SEXY CHRISTMAS AFFAIR LIKE TIGER WOODS

ANNA KOURNICOVA played in the sun too much..?
Man that’s really quite a shocker for the lady of Wimbledon…
Seems all that sexual grunting has prematurely aged the babe…
Pity she was one fucking hot tennis babe…




THE REAL ANNA KOURNIKOVA NUDE
Ha – only teasing guys and dykes…
But you have to admit she’s one hot babe…
Her Wimbledon grunting gets me so fucking hard…
But the dudes at Wimbledon want it banned…
Fuck off I say – it’s softcore porn for masses!!!
Keep on Grunting Miss Anna Kournikova!!!

GO SEE ALL THE NUDE ANNA KOURNIKOVA PICS AT CELEB DEFAMER

CHOCOLATE AND CUM…FATTENING

CHOCOLATE is fattening…
If that’s stating the obvious…
Then prepare ya selves…
A dippy doctor from Scotland…
(famed for battered deep fried Mas bars lol)…
Wants a chocolate tax…
Dr Walker claims many people eat half their daily calories…
In one single choccy food fest…
The fat tax – if successful – is a worry…
I mean what next..?
Cum tax..?
After all one spoonful…
Equals around 25 calories…
Good news if you squirt on a little…
Bad news if (like me lol) you cum in buckets…



SEMENEX SHE’LL SWALLOW UNLESS SHE’S ON A DIET

Little wonder you GF wife or whatever…
Won’t swallow your man paste…
She’s always on a fucking diet…
So hide this blog post from her…
Buy her choccie often…
Buy semenax and cover ya cock in choccy…



This post has been sponosred by FOOD BANGERS


AND FLIP’S SEX STUFF



FAT AND THIN WOMEN LOOKING FOR A FUCK

NO KISSING RUSSIAN TEEN PUSSY






SNOG FREE STATION


KISSING is now banned…
Not only that – there’s designated kissing areas!!!
Anyone caught in the “lewd act” can be fined $80…
WE’re talking a railway station up t’north…
Welcome to romance free Britian…
Grumpy (and ugly) local taxi drivers have complained…
One exclaimed:

Useless they are…we have to beep them…
And point out the sign and the fine…

What a bunch of sad bastards…
And given the station is owned by Virgin…
I guess full on intercourse is out of the question…

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NO KISSING WE’RE INDIAN – FUCKING’S OK


It’s even worse if you’re Indian…
It’s banned in public everywhere…
And with fines of up to $22…
You’d better watch your lips lol…

My thanks to the gorgeous Indian porn star…
PRIYA ANJALI RAI…
My God this woman is fucking HOT…
I wanna kiss every part of her body…
Fuck the fine I wanna fuck HER!!!

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