Doggers Love Trees

YOU can’t see the sex for the trees sometimes…
And if you live in Lancashire UK…
And go down to the woods today – to er get wood…
You’re in for a very nasty surprise…
Council killjoys have felled 100’s of century old trees…
Why you cry…why to stop the dogging going on…
Yeah you heard me right…
The daft bastards have brought in hunky lumberjacks…
To fell the mighty oaks…
To discourage the “dogging community…”



For those not in the know…
Dogging is a bit of a Brit thing…
Basically horny couples drive out to beauty spots…
Park up – pull out their pricks and fuck themselves stupid…
Meanwhile a crowd of onlookers arrive…
And either join in the fuck fest…
Or mostly just go wank in the bushes…




Brit Doggers – A Bit Slutty


The reasons given is of course “Health and Safety…”
Why they couldn’t have supplied condoms God only knows…
Or knowing some Brit slags…
A crash helmet lol…
However the local copper says…
“We shall be keeping a close eye on the area…”
I’m sure you will constable…
Truncheon in hand of course…

IT’S FUCKING FREEZING – STAY IN DOORS BUY PORN AND WANK!!!

PERSONAL NEWS – given it’s Christmas…
I’ve just opened my first members only nude babes site…
The hottest babes – the sweetest teens…
There’s even a few cougars and MILFs…
Softcore and hardcore babes to blow ya ball off…

GO SEE ALL THE PORN AT FLIPS NUDE BABES NOW!!!

CHOCOLATE AND CUM…FATTENING

CHOCOLATE is fattening…
If that’s stating the obvious…
Then prepare ya selves…
A dippy doctor from Scotland…
(famed for battered deep fried Mas bars lol)…
Wants a chocolate tax…
Dr Walker claims many people eat half their daily calories…
In one single choccy food fest…
The fat tax – if successful – is a worry…
I mean what next..?
Cum tax..?
After all one spoonful…
Equals around 25 calories…
Good news if you squirt on a little…
Bad news if (like me lol) you cum in buckets…



SEMENEX SHE’LL SWALLOW UNLESS SHE’S ON A DIET

Little wonder you GF wife or whatever…
Won’t swallow your man paste…
She’s always on a fucking diet…
So hide this blog post from her…
Buy her choccie often…
Buy semenax and cover ya cock in choccy…



This post has been sponosred by FOOD BANGERS


AND FLIP’S SEX STUFF



FAT AND THIN WOMEN LOOKING FOR A FUCK

NO KISSING RUSSIAN TEEN PUSSY






SNOG FREE STATION


KISSING is now banned…
Not only that – there’s designated kissing areas!!!
Anyone caught in the “lewd act” can be fined $80…
WE’re talking a railway station up t’north…
Welcome to romance free Britian…
Grumpy (and ugly) local taxi drivers have complained…
One exclaimed:

Useless they are…we have to beep them…
And point out the sign and the fine…

What a bunch of sad bastards…
And given the station is owned by Virgin…
I guess full on intercourse is out of the question…

FEATURED NUDE BABE – AMOUR ANGELS SEXY NUDE RUSSIAN TEENS





NO KISSING WE’RE INDIAN – FUCKING’S OK


It’s even worse if you’re Indian…
It’s banned in public everywhere…
And with fines of up to $22…
You’d better watch your lips lol…

My thanks to the gorgeous Indian porn star…
PRIYA ANJALI RAI…
My God this woman is fucking HOT…
I wanna kiss every part of her body…
Fuck the fine I wanna fuck HER!!!

GO SEE ALL OF THIS HOT INDIAN NUDE BABE NOW




FLIP’S PORN – all my babes and nude blogs…



EXPLICITE NUDES – my latest Thumbnail Blog Gallery…

WESTBORO BAPTITS OOOPS BAPTIST CHURCH SUPPORTS BRISTOL


PORN protesters storm pornographers house…
In scenes reminiscent of a Frankenstein movie…
The only thing missing being pitchforks and peasants…
OK maybe there were peasants we’re talking Somerset after all…
Suburban anti sex protesters lay siege to an honest legal business…
Furious residents of a quiet Bristol (ha I said bristols lol) cul-de-sac…
Want to cull de ahem scrotum sac activities of one Jimmy Edwards…



NOT JIMMY EDWARDS IN GAY ROMAN FILM HAIL HOMO


Professional pornographer James Edwards…
Is said to be completely stressed out by the whole thing…

All right, there are girls visiting and there are camera people coming in and out…
But they are all clothed when they come out…
I get on very well with my immediate neighbours…

He said…
Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy…
It’s the cumming in and out the neighbours are upset about lol…
We can’t have pornography made in private…
I mean my God what is the world coming to…
Everyone knows porno should be made in public!!!




PORN STARS PUNISHED BY PROTESTERS – PROBABLY


So incensed are the neighbours…
They predict coach loads of prostitutes and drug dealers arriving…
To ply their equally terrible disgusting dangerous trades…
A thing unheard of in the sleepy hamlet of Bristol…
And shock horror let’s grab the media’s attention…
A kindly 75-year-old granny in the street raises the point…

Why is this going on? Why is this allowed?
There are little children round here.
It is not on. He is laughing at us.

God forbid pornographers should ever laugh…
And come to that how come porn is always…
I mean always linked in with kids..?
I mean hang on a minute…
Do kids have credit cards..?
And therefore why on earth would legit porno types like me…
Want them on my sites in the first place..?
And more importantly…
Why aren’t parents monitoring their online activities..?
Naw don’t be silly blame the pornographers…




PORNOGRAPHERS TRYING NOT TO LAUGH


I of course understand about NIMBY…
Not in My Back Yard…
Now that sounds like an anal porn reference to me lol…
You ain’t gonna stick that in my back yard honey hehe…
But I digress – us porno professionals do you know lol…
But if it’s legal – above board then WTF is the matter with you people..?
And as to the shock horror “it’s affecting our house prices…”
There’s a fucking world wide recession on people…
House prices are dropping quicker than a Bristol prozzies knickers…
(ooops no pun intended)
If anything the presence of a legit porn empire in your street…
Could be construed as a high selling point…
You can just see the estate agents eagerly writing their speil…
“Four up four down…”
You just know where I’m going with this lol…




FOUR UP FOUR DOWN – GLORIOUS VIEWS



So what have we learned from this…
Porn gets headlines – always for the wrong reasons…
Anti porn protesters are hypocritical uneducated and sad…
Their anger and call to arms over a legitimate business…
Shows certainly a community spirit to be applauded…
But why not use that venom against the real criminals in society…
Just try and walk through parts of Bristol late at night…
Take a quick snapshot of crime figures in Bristol…
Way above the national average – particularly sex crimes…
Now how about getting your placards…
Taking to the streets and tackling real crime..?
Rather than bullying harassing a legitimate disabled businessman…
I mean if he wasn’t earning from a legitimate business…
God forbid he’d become a benefit scrounger…
And I’m sure none of you lot or your families do that sort of thing…
Do you..?

THIS POST WAS SPONSORED BY




REAL AMATEUR PORN MOVIES BRISTOL APPROVED

BUT I ALWAYS SHOWER LIKE THIS JUDGE…HONEST


Sad day for kinky spankers wankers and whippers…
For today is the day the UK has deemed Extreme Porn day…
Not I hasten to add anything to celebrate…
Unless I guess you’re an MP – rich or run Formula One…
Then you can continue to do it watch it in private…
Rather it’s the day pics like the harmless one above…
Are deemed ILLEGAL – you’re nicked Percy Pervert…
Virtual sadism anything described as life threatening (lol)…
Or the mutilation of breasts and genitals etc etc yada yada…
That’s despite the fact the average sado porn star…
Fucking loves it and signs shit loads of legal documents…




HARDCORE BONDAGE PORNSTARS HAPPY IN THEIR WORK

Hey don’t get me wrong – I’m as much against forced porn as anyone…
However it’s this thought police big brother nanny state…
That fucks me right off and makes me yearn for pastures new…
What’s that the friendly UK Gov sez..?
It ain’t illegal if you delete it off your hard drive…
How cool how pointless is that..?
It’s OK to look – but don’t keep it…
I fucking despair…
And the it kind of occurred to me…
Is there going to be a special squad of masochists…
Armed with cattle prods and restraints…
Hunting down submissive perverts…
Who long to be handled and spoken to roughly…
Restrained and then locked in a dark cell..?
Ummm something tells me that’s exactly what they want lol…




EXTREME BDSM PORN MOVIES ON DEMAND



(watch and delete lol)