Doggers Love Trees

YOU can’t see the sex for the trees sometimes…
And if you live in Lancashire UK…
And go down to the woods today – to er get wood…
You’re in for a very nasty surprise…
Council killjoys have felled 100’s of century old trees…
Why you cry…why to stop the dogging going on…
Yeah you heard me right…
The daft bastards have brought in hunky lumberjacks…
To fell the mighty oaks…
To discourage the “dogging community…”



For those not in the know…
Dogging is a bit of a Brit thing…
Basically horny couples drive out to beauty spots…
Park up – pull out their pricks and fuck themselves stupid…
Meanwhile a crowd of onlookers arrive…
And either join in the fuck fest…
Or mostly just go wank in the bushes…




Brit Doggers – A Bit Slutty


The reasons given is of course “Health and Safety…”
Why they couldn’t have supplied condoms God only knows…
Or knowing some Brit slags…
A crash helmet lol…
However the local copper says…
“We shall be keeping a close eye on the area…”
I’m sure you will constable…
Truncheon in hand of course…

CHOCOLATE AND CUM…FATTENING

CHOCOLATE is fattening…
If that’s stating the obvious…
Then prepare ya selves…
A dippy doctor from Scotland…
(famed for battered deep fried Mas bars lol)…
Wants a chocolate tax…
Dr Walker claims many people eat half their daily calories…
In one single choccy food fest…
The fat tax – if successful – is a worry…
I mean what next..?
Cum tax..?
After all one spoonful…
Equals around 25 calories…
Good news if you squirt on a little…
Bad news if (like me lol) you cum in buckets…



SEMENEX SHE’LL SWALLOW UNLESS SHE’S ON A DIET

Little wonder you GF wife or whatever…
Won’t swallow your man paste…
She’s always on a fucking diet…
So hide this blog post from her…
Buy her choccie often…
Buy semenax and cover ya cock in choccy…



This post has been sponosred by FOOD BANGERS


AND FLIP’S SEX STUFF



FAT AND THIN WOMEN LOOKING FOR A FUCK